Hi, my name is capnzebbie and I'm...
Aug. 19th, 2005 09:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
capnzebbieOkay, I knew I was gaining weight. I mean, I was eating like a...well, not really like a horse, more like a hummingbird or something that constantly eats sugar except without all the frantic flapping of wings.
Someone told me a couple of months ago that they had heard about this new stomach pacemaker that's being developed that will take away your urge to eat by telling you that you're not hungry. I said, "What I would need is some kind of pacemaker to tell me that I'm not upset or stressed or depressed or whatever, because hunger has nothing to do with whether or not I want to eat."
For the past ten months I've had to do a particular thing at work that I don't really like to do, and I haven't been happy about it. When customers call in to downgrade or disconnect their services, we are expected to attempt to retain them at their current service level. This has always been my least favorite part of the job, the part that almost caused me to look for a different job a couple of years ago.
It's hard when someone calls and says they've had some sort of financial setback or family tragedy or they're elderly and on a fixed income and they want to go to a lower service level and I'm supposed to persuade them to keep what they have when what I really want to do is congratulate them on their strength of character. And it's hard when people call and tell me how much my company sucks and that they don't want to do business with us anymore, and I'm supposed to persuade them to stay.
Because it is hard, we have a separate team specifically to do that. Not only have I been on that team for the past ten months, I've been the Lead on that team. That means I have to teach the people on my team to do this, and...well, it's been difficult, doing something I don't like and that I sometimes believe is not necessarily the right thing to do, and teaching other people how to do it, but it's my job so I've been doing it to the best of my ability.
It's been a learning experience. (I once told my supervisor that this job is a life lesson in patience and anger management. That hasn't changed in four and a half years.) However, I've been moved to a different team now, so that won't be such a big part of my job, and I'm much happier.
It's just been stressful, and I'm there way more than I want to be with all the mandatory overtime, so every day I eat and eat and eat, sugar sugar sugar, using the food to cope with all the unpleasant emotions.
Then I thought, 'Hey! I bet they make a pill for that!' So I talked to my doctor and I started taking Wellbutrin a couple of months ago. My sister used that to quit smoking several years ago. It seems to be helping I think. I've been on more of an even keel emotionally, but I've kept right on eating all the sugar, out of habit or because eating sugar makes you want to eat more sugar, or just because my mouth likes it, I guess.
Anyway, I knew I had gained quite a bit. So stepping on the scale wasn't that much of a surprise. Or even really upsetting.
I had already decided that I was ready to start the low carb thing again on Tuesday. I looked at the scale and I thought, 'Well, I'll just see. Might as well know the starting point.' So I stepped on the scale and thought, 'Huh. So this scale does register weights above three hundred pounds.'
303.5 pounds. And since I'm not eight feet tall, that's too much. For my metric friends, that converts to way-too-fucking-many kilos. If measured in stones, I am Stonehenge.
That's the most I've ever weighed. And the most I ever will weigh.
So! Low Carb since Tuesday. I've lost seven pounds. Go me! I'll keep you posted! :o)
Someone told me a couple of months ago that they had heard about this new stomach pacemaker that's being developed that will take away your urge to eat by telling you that you're not hungry. I said, "What I would need is some kind of pacemaker to tell me that I'm not upset or stressed or depressed or whatever, because hunger has nothing to do with whether or not I want to eat."
For the past ten months I've had to do a particular thing at work that I don't really like to do, and I haven't been happy about it. When customers call in to downgrade or disconnect their services, we are expected to attempt to retain them at their current service level. This has always been my least favorite part of the job, the part that almost caused me to look for a different job a couple of years ago.
It's hard when someone calls and says they've had some sort of financial setback or family tragedy or they're elderly and on a fixed income and they want to go to a lower service level and I'm supposed to persuade them to keep what they have when what I really want to do is congratulate them on their strength of character. And it's hard when people call and tell me how much my company sucks and that they don't want to do business with us anymore, and I'm supposed to persuade them to stay.
Because it is hard, we have a separate team specifically to do that. Not only have I been on that team for the past ten months, I've been the Lead on that team. That means I have to teach the people on my team to do this, and...well, it's been difficult, doing something I don't like and that I sometimes believe is not necessarily the right thing to do, and teaching other people how to do it, but it's my job so I've been doing it to the best of my ability.
It's been a learning experience. (I once told my supervisor that this job is a life lesson in patience and anger management. That hasn't changed in four and a half years.) However, I've been moved to a different team now, so that won't be such a big part of my job, and I'm much happier.
It's just been stressful, and I'm there way more than I want to be with all the mandatory overtime, so every day I eat and eat and eat, sugar sugar sugar, using the food to cope with all the unpleasant emotions.
Then I thought, 'Hey! I bet they make a pill for that!' So I talked to my doctor and I started taking Wellbutrin a couple of months ago. My sister used that to quit smoking several years ago. It seems to be helping I think. I've been on more of an even keel emotionally, but I've kept right on eating all the sugar, out of habit or because eating sugar makes you want to eat more sugar, or just because my mouth likes it, I guess.
Anyway, I knew I had gained quite a bit. So stepping on the scale wasn't that much of a surprise. Or even really upsetting.
I had already decided that I was ready to start the low carb thing again on Tuesday. I looked at the scale and I thought, 'Well, I'll just see. Might as well know the starting point.' So I stepped on the scale and thought, 'Huh. So this scale does register weights above three hundred pounds.'
303.5 pounds. And since I'm not eight feet tall, that's too much. For my metric friends, that converts to way-too-fucking-many kilos. If measured in stones, I am Stonehenge.
That's the most I've ever weighed. And the most I ever will weigh.
So! Low Carb since Tuesday. I've lost seven pounds. Go me! I'll keep you posted! :o)
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-19 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-19 10:16 pm (UTC)I'm doing Atkins--low carb, don't worry about the fat. *g* I'm eating meat, eggs, cheese and green salad mostly. The induction diet--I'll be doing that for two weeks. I'm hoping to start exercising next week or maybe the week after. I have to lose a little more weight first so I don't kill myself on the treadmill or the Nordic Track.
I'm so sorry to hear about the thirty pounds! I know you'll get it back off. You just have to figure out what makes you gain. For some people it's carbs and for some it's fat. For me, it's definitely sugar.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 12:43 am (UTC)Sugar is Teh Evil. We all know it, don't we. :(( Congrats on starting LC again. We have a woman at the German LC forum who lost 220 pounds, so everything is possible if you just stick to it long enough. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and wish you the best of luck!!
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 09:33 pm (UTC)I'm optimistic about getting the weight off. I need to lose about 150 pounds--that's half of me! I'll just keep the good half. *g*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 04:46 am (UTC)All in good time. It's possible for sure, but it'll take a while. A friend of mine here has lost about 110 pounds in the past 10 months, but she's not even 30 and it's her first diet...
Have you heard that LC is easiest the first time around? It's called the "golden shot", and I've found it to be true very often. Hang in there, and if you need encouragement (or a swift kick to the butt *g*), you know where to find me! ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 09:22 am (UTC)Good for you for realizing that your weight has gone far enough. That's a really hard step to take. Remember to drink lots and lots of water!! I struggle with my weight all the time. I'm not a sweets person, so that's good, but wow, do I love food, so that's my downfall. I also tend to eat way too much at a sitting.
Good luck and don't give up!!
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 09:37 pm (UTC)Thanks for the good wishes on the weight loss. And yes, I'm drinking lots of water--about a gallon a day. *slosh slosh*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 09:43 am (UTC)We'll help each other! United, we'll lose. *i hope to god!*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-20 09:42 pm (UTC)We can be a support group! What kind of exercise are you doing? I'm just stretching. I have to lose a few more pounds before I can really exercise--my knees and feet are a little to stressed right now.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-21 09:52 am (UTC)I'm doing step aerobics--hahahah! I'm the worst in the class--everybodies going one way, i'm going the other! I suck! Help make me go! THat's all I'm doing now, and I've missed *koffkoff* a few classes. Does it count if my heart's in the right place? *grin*