capnzebbie | cats and dogs--gotta love 'em :o)

Here's something my friend E sent me in an email--cracked me up! In my head, the cat has the voice of Brain from Pinky and the Brain.

Pet's diary!

From the Dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

From the Cat's diary:

Day 2,483 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me
going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing
the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must
try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be
an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his
safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time...