help

[capnzebbie]

Would someone please tell me that I'm not worthless because I don't have any children and I'm 47 years old?

Would someone please tell me that I'm not crazy to think I still might possibly have a child even though I'm 47 years old?

And would someone please tell me that it's okay to still be ambivalent about this?

I'm looking at this website and this website and I'm very unhappy.

My mother is unhappy because she only has one grandchild. She wanted to have a lot of them. It's a shame that parents can't control that. *sigh* I've never really wanted to have children, but every time she talks about this I feel guilty. And I know I shouldn't. It's a shame that I can't control that.

I haven't wasted my life. But right now I just can't think of anything I've done.

It's entirely possible that I will continue to be ambivalent about this until my uterus falls out from disuse.

Comments

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

If you've never really wanted to have kids, please please don't let anybody guilt you into doing so. They're this huge, messy, intensely annoying, irritating, exhausting, wonderful and rewarding undertaking and if you don't want one more than anything in the world it'll be horrible for you both.

There's no reason why a 47 year old woman can't have a child - my grandmother, for example, was over 50 when her last child was born. I'm 47 - there are days when I am convinced I want to have a baby before it's too late, and more when I know that isn't the course for me to take. I think, honestly, it's our genetic programming kicking in telling us to reproduce one more time before we lose the ability, but it isn't 30,000 years ago and we don't have to worry about producing another one for the tribe now.

If your mom wants lots of grandchildren, let her volunteer at a local orphanage - there are plenty of kids there who would just love to have an interested older adult come and pay some attention to them.

[capnzebbie.livejournal.com]

Thanks you, em!

it's our genetic programming kicking in I know that has to be part of it. I do think babies are cute, but then I remember that there are over 6 billion people in the world and we are reaching the point at which we are swimming in our own shit, and I just start to think that reproducing is not an excellent idea. *sigh* ambivalent.

My mom occasionally points out to me stories about older women having babies. I know she tries hard not to make me feel guilty about it, but her longing does come through.