help

[capnzebbie]

Would someone please tell me that I'm not worthless because I don't have any children and I'm 47 years old?

Would someone please tell me that I'm not crazy to think I still might possibly have a child even though I'm 47 years old?

And would someone please tell me that it's okay to still be ambivalent about this?

I'm looking at this website and this website and I'm very unhappy.

My mother is unhappy because she only has one grandchild. She wanted to have a lot of them. It's a shame that parents can't control that. *sigh* I've never really wanted to have children, but every time she talks about this I feel guilty. And I know I shouldn't. It's a shame that I can't control that.

I haven't wasted my life. But right now I just can't think of anything I've done.

It's entirely possible that I will continue to be ambivalent about this until my uterus falls out from disuse.

Comments

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Eeeep! You are TOTALLY FINE!! Don't let anyone tell you different!

Parents are very good at creating guilt (heh! maybe one good reason not to be one!). My mother wanted many many children and ended up with only one (me). To stave off The Pressure I have insisted from an early age that I wasn't going to have kids, yet I still see that mournful look in my mother's eye... and she's got a really nice habit of telling my in-laws that I won't have kids 'because I'm afraid of pain'. Nice!

The choice to be a parent is a very personal one and one that you should never be pressured into. And there are many ways of becoming a parent as well--you don't know what might yet happen.

I am only young (28) but already I'm wondering if I'll have these issues to confront as well, as I'm still ambivalent about children. But damn that biology/hormones that makes me worry about this! I swear I'd never even think about it if it wasn't for that...

[capnzebbie.livejournal.com]

I think my mom tries hard not to make me feel guilty, and I take total responsibility for the guilty-feeling thing, but yeah, she does express the longing for more than one grandchild.

It seems like so many of the people in my life always knew, "I'm going to get married. I'm going to have kids." I never had those thoughts. It was never automatic for me as it seems to be for them.

I'm usually okay, but sometimes it just gets to me and I start feeling all wrong. *HUGS* Thanks for the support!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

I never had those thoughts either... though that's normal for my peer group. I think if I do ever have kids, I'll be the odd one out. Actually I would be embarrassed in front of many of them to admit wanting kids. Isn't it strange how different groups have these different norms?